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My Spiritual Self-Help Guide

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How to Find Happiness - Stop Looking in the Wrong Places

Happiness Woman Jumping for Joy

Where You Won't Find Happiness

Happiness is a state of mind. It is not having the next thing on your list of wants or the best house or car. It is not about your success or that of your children. It does not come from meeting a new partner or getting married. Yes, these things might make us feel happy, but how often do we find that our happiness lasts only for a short time before we move on to the next thing that we need to make us happy?

Many people push happiness into the future, such as in "I'll be happy when I lose weight or get that new job." Or, they see happiness as being in the past - if only such and such hadn't have happened. Or, I was happy with my ex and now I'll never meet anyone else.

Where to Find Happiness

But happiness can only be in the now. Living a peaceful life means accepting life's ups and downs fully and grieving for our losses where necessary. But ultimately it comes down to the choices that we make in life to see the positives and be grateful for them; to find the silver lining in every cloud. Happiness and contentment come from a peaceful state of mind that accepts what happens in life without becoming unbalanced.

Focussing on Being Happy

Happiness is a habit! Many of us do not find it easy to stay happy for very long because we were taught to focus on the negatives of any situation. We learned this from our parents, carers, elders and peers. But griping and complaining about the state of our lives just keeps us stuck in whatever patterns we are complaining about. Happiness is about taking responsibility for our own feelings and our own life and doing what we can to change them to more positive states. Where we are unable to change a situation then our only choices are either withdrawal or acceptance.

Staying Stuck in Unhappiness

Many people feel stuck in situations that they do not want - perhaps they have a job or a relationship that no longer makes them feel good. They feel unable to get out. Sometimes it takes courage to make these sort of changes. In such situations, we may be living according to the expectations of others and may have to face their disapproval if we change. Or we may feel that changing is too risky. But sticking with these situations may cause many years of pain, frustration and later regret. We only have one life (that we are aware of) so being true to ourselves and living it our own way is an important part of finding happiness.

Happy People Have Good Relationships

Another way to stay happy is to nurture our relationships. People who have good relationships are said to be happier and more content in their lives than people who don't. Good support networks are essential to feeling capable of dealing with problems and issues and getting through to the other end. Good company can lift us up and positive people can encourage us to reach our potential. Make sure that your relationships are with people who are a positive influence on your life and not with people who drag you down.

Taking Responsibility for Your Happiness

What does taking responsibility for your own happiness mean? Basically, making the decisions to move towards a happier, more positive life including - eliminating the negative in your life; Looking for the positives and potentials for growth in every situation; Deciding what will make you happy in life and going for it; Not waiting for others to make you happy but taking charge of your own life and making it what you want; Changing the things you can and accepting the things you can't change; Finding the things that make you fulfilled and incorporating them into your life; Finding time to relax and connect with your spiritual self.

Yes, you might have to put some effort into finding something that works for you. You might experience some discomfort at making changes. But if you are not happy now, then changes must be made. If necessary get some help. Or learn to take control of your life with my 2 favourite self-help gurus - Susan Jeffers and Louise Hay. Life is too short to be unhappy!

Advanced Meditation Audio

More Happiness Articles

• Happiness is a State of Mind. Don't believe me? Read this... • How to Change Your Life from the Inside Out • Here is the Only Way to Find Permanent Peace and Lasting Happiness • How to Find Happiness - Stop Looking in the Wrong Places • Stop Waiting for Someone Else to Make You Happy • Find Happiness by Loving Yourself Squarely in the Eye • Meditation Can Change Your Life • How to Stop Emotional Pain, Hurt and Suffering • Dealing with Difficult People - Using Assertiveness in Your Communication with Others • Manifesting your Desires - Bringing the Stuff of Dreams into Reality • Can't Sleep? Can't Relax? Break Out of the Vicious Circle of Poor Quality Sleep • Unconditional Love versus Attachment - Getting to the Root of the Problems in our Relationships